The death of a loved one can leave us devastated. We’re no longer able to concentrate, are consumed by pain, and contrary to popular belief, find that things actually feel worse over time, not better.
The Grief Recovery Method teaches you the correct actions so you don’t have to hopelessly wait in pain. Certified Grief Recovery Specialists offer individual as well as group support for those who have suffered the death of a loved one.
If you’re here, it may be because you’ve been looking for a bereavement counsellor, grief coach, or just about anything to help you feel better following a significant emotional loss.
The pain of loss can be unbearable and can seriously affect your ability to have a happy, healthy life.
The problem is that while grief is a natural emotion following a bereavement or any other personal loss, most of what society teaches us about it and how to deal with it is intellectual.
You can’t fix a feeling using a rational argument. Yet our friends, family and sadly too many professionals do this every day. For example following a bereavement they may say “don’t be upset, at least she’s out of pain now”.
While this statement may be partially true, it is emotionally barren. The person you are speaking with has moved the subject away from your feelings and on to those of the person who died. This intellectualisation of grief is so endemic we barely notice it anymore.
Unfortunately, the pain of loss cannot be taken away by factually true statements, because the problem is not an intellectual one. It’s an emotional one.
Grief is not a psychological disorder
Even though loss is a normal part of life, the symptoms of grief can make you feel like you’ve lost your mind.
Insomnia, inability to concentrate, physical symptoms such as weight loss or weight gain and inexplicable pain or injury are all common to the grieving process and can have you running to your nearest doctor for help.
But bereavement is not a psychological condition, even though it may feel like it at times. We are unable to cope with the pain of a significant loss because we haven’t been taught how.
While we often get some comfort from talking to others who have also been bereaved, or talking about our loved one in therapy, the pain can stick around for years and we don’t understand why.
Most of what we’ve been told about grief isn’t true
Over the years of working with many thousands of grievers we’ve realised that the six myths associated with loss first identified by John James in The Grief Recovery Handbook are almost wholly universal.
- If you’re going to cry, go to your room…
- Don’t feel bad, they wouldn’t have wanted you to be sad…
- Are you going to get a new dog?
- You need to be strong for the kids…
- You need to find a new hobby to get your mind off it…
- Just give it time…
How many times have we received well-meaning comments like these in response to our grief?
The intentions are good, but they don’t help us feel better.
Don’t keep living in pain – Start feeling better now
The death of a loved one is truly devastating and it is an experience we will never forget.
Feeling better is not about forgetting or pretending the loss never happened. Feeling better is about relieving the emotional pain you are carrying with you on a daily basis so that you can start sleeping better, concentrating, eating and even enjoying your life again.
Once you’ve learned the action steps for handling your grief, you can cherish the memories of your loved one without it turning painful.
Working with a Grief Recovery Specialist in person or online, individually or in a group, you will have a safe space to talk freely about your loss without the fear of judgment or analysis.
This unique, structured programme is completed in 7-8 sessions and will teach you the correct actions so you no longer have to wait for your grief to get better on its own.
Want to find out more and move past the pain of loss? Book a call today.